After Monday and Tuesday being somewhat fun at work it all simmered today which is good and bad, the good part is that work is less stressful and can go with the flow and get more done without idiots bursting into the room every 2 minutes, the bad part is deadlines are another day closer.
The Idiot desk took a few more victims today, some for the 2nd and 3rd time, seriously they are true idiots!
Life is not always exciting, just another ordinary day in the life is Me.
Wednesday 13 May 2009
Tuesday 12 May 2009
The Meaning of the idiot desk
As I promised, I was going to tell you why I have named my new visitors desk the idiot desk. You all read what happened yesterday I hope, and like always I always have a reason why I do things and today it all happened how expected it to happen.
Many time a day people pull me up at work and complained that I have an eye for detail and am to observant, why do they complain about it? because it means more work for them, I am not a person to leave gaps in work, have it all worked out even look into the unexpected as you never know when it is going to happen. Never get caught off guard, in my line of work that will make a company crumble to the ground.
So today was the first full day of the idiot desk, I knew it would get used a lot today as it was a busy day, idiots coming in and out of the office all day. As they were ready to dump their arse at my desk I pointed to the idiot desk, it was only when they sat down they laughed at the "name" of the desk and questioned me.
"Veiled why is it called the idiot desk?"
"you will find out soon enough I am sure" I replied to them all.
Without fail every single person who sat at the idiot desk found out how it got it's name and I bet you want to know why also.
Remember at the start of this post I said how people always pick me up and complain about me always wanting details and being to "observant"? Today I made them feel what it is like to forget details and to not be observant. You recall I said I put a hanging plant above the desk also? That plant was a little to the side of the chair so if you were not being observant and not noticing details if you pushed your chair back only a little and stood up you would hit your head on it.
I had the desk on such an angle that people would shift the chair in such a way that BAM you hit your head on the plant.
So the idiots went something like this
"Ha ha funny name for a desk, how did it get it's name?"
Veiled "You will find out soon enough"
idiot goes to leave, stands up, I hear a clunk.
idiot " ouch, fuck, damn it"
I do not even raise my eyes to look at them I keep working and reply
"Idiot"
they leave mumbling.
I sent a memo around as I was leaving today and I quote
"The idiot desk has claimed it's 12 victim, to not me the 13th, only details and observation will save you"
Many time a day people pull me up at work and complained that I have an eye for detail and am to observant, why do they complain about it? because it means more work for them, I am not a person to leave gaps in work, have it all worked out even look into the unexpected as you never know when it is going to happen. Never get caught off guard, in my line of work that will make a company crumble to the ground.
So today was the first full day of the idiot desk, I knew it would get used a lot today as it was a busy day, idiots coming in and out of the office all day. As they were ready to dump their arse at my desk I pointed to the idiot desk, it was only when they sat down they laughed at the "name" of the desk and questioned me.
"Veiled why is it called the idiot desk?"
"you will find out soon enough I am sure" I replied to them all.
Without fail every single person who sat at the idiot desk found out how it got it's name and I bet you want to know why also.
Remember at the start of this post I said how people always pick me up and complain about me always wanting details and being to "observant"? Today I made them feel what it is like to forget details and to not be observant. You recall I said I put a hanging plant above the desk also? That plant was a little to the side of the chair so if you were not being observant and not noticing details if you pushed your chair back only a little and stood up you would hit your head on it.
I had the desk on such an angle that people would shift the chair in such a way that BAM you hit your head on the plant.
So the idiots went something like this
"Ha ha funny name for a desk, how did it get it's name?"
Veiled "You will find out soon enough"
idiot goes to leave, stands up, I hear a clunk.
idiot " ouch, fuck, damn it"
I do not even raise my eyes to look at them I keep working and reply
"Idiot"
they leave mumbling.
I sent a memo around as I was leaving today and I quote
"The idiot desk has claimed it's 12 victim, to not me the 13th, only details and observation will save you"
The Idiot desk
As I said yesterday, it was a true Monday feeling when someone woke me up at some stupid arse hour of the morning to talk about work, mind you it was a department of work I have nothing to do with so when I was in the office he really heard what was on my mind.
The day went by slowly until person after person come into the office asking all these stupid questions that had nothing to do with me, I had enough, all these people messing up my desk by moving things aside to put their laptops down. Pissed off with the idiots I got someone from the office to find me a spare desk, I sat it a little in the corner, I have now named it the idiot desk, it has its own name plaque even a plant on the desk and a hanging plant above it.
Why is it called the idiot desk? You will have to ready tomorrow blog to find out!
The day went by slowly until person after person come into the office asking all these stupid questions that had nothing to do with me, I had enough, all these people messing up my desk by moving things aside to put their laptops down. Pissed off with the idiots I got someone from the office to find me a spare desk, I sat it a little in the corner, I have now named it the idiot desk, it has its own name plaque even a plant on the desk and a hanging plant above it.
Why is it called the idiot desk? You will have to ready tomorrow blog to find out!
Monday 11 May 2009
It's Monday
It is 8:30am, it is Monday and it already sucks!
I was awake till midnight ironing my shirts, skirts and suits and already at 7am idiots were calling me with things to do with work!
This is going to be a very very interesting day, I know now there are going to be some arses kicked, I just wish I could really physically kick their balls or arse!
Well I am off, time to verbally abuse some idiots at the office.
I was awake till midnight ironing my shirts, skirts and suits and already at 7am idiots were calling me with things to do with work!
This is going to be a very very interesting day, I know now there are going to be some arses kicked, I just wish I could really physically kick their balls or arse!
Well I am off, time to verbally abuse some idiots at the office.
Friday 8 May 2009
It is dry and crunchy
So did the heading get your twisted minds to read the blog further? That is a comment I got today, "It is dry and crunchy."
Now let me clear a few things up first. As the regular readers know I work with men, I work in a "man's world" and the truth be known it really pisses the males off that they have to answer to me. Out of the ump-teen offices I work out of there is only a handful of females in the building and they are just there to answer the phone, when I say I work in a man's world I really mean it.
So here is a short list of things that I hear on a regular basis that relate to what happened today.
* click, click, click, there goes Veiled in them heels
* Do you always have to smell so good?
* Prim, proper and penis pirate (it is a saying where I live meaning I take their manhood away)
So I was walking into one of the offices today to pick someone up to go to a lunch meeting, they were not there so I left a note telling them to come and get me. It really pisses me off when people do not keep to appointments. So I was sitting behind my desk and some bottom feeder walked in and started running his mouth off.
bottom feeder comments as he walks into my office: " click, click, click, I heard you walking down the hall didn't anyone invent silent heels yet?"
Veiled: you know you love hearing me walk down the hall as I see you looking at my shoes all the time.
bf: Yeah that's maybe true but it is the smell that follows you that gets all them men looking.
V: Is that so? why does it my smell turns you on?
bottom feeder blushes: Well you are the only female hierarchy here and well, powerful females are, well you know?
V: No I don't tell me!
bottom feeder: You just smell good ok? even your office smells good!
*bottom feeder looks towards my desk and raises an eyebrow*
bottom feeder: So your waiting for bob huh? oh wow I have never seen candy that colour before, can I?
Before I could even answer him he has picked up a "candy" and shoved it in his mouth.
V: nice?
bottom feeder: Eeerrr not really it is dry and crunchy, it taste old. Should it taste like this?
V: I would not know I have never tried eating potpourri before.
bottom feeder starts spitting it out into his hand and starts mumbling as he leaves.
Later in the day there was a memo sent around by email warning people that my office smells nice because of the potpourri on my desk and it may look like strange candy but it is not and a little P.S down the bottom said "cover the manhood when entering" (maybe it was because I was in a unable to tolerate "no bullshit" mood today)
So a warning when walking into my office, it smells good and I do not tolerate crap from anyone.
Now let me clear a few things up first. As the regular readers know I work with men, I work in a "man's world" and the truth be known it really pisses the males off that they have to answer to me. Out of the ump-teen offices I work out of there is only a handful of females in the building and they are just there to answer the phone, when I say I work in a man's world I really mean it.
So here is a short list of things that I hear on a regular basis that relate to what happened today.
* click, click, click, there goes Veiled in them heels
* Do you always have to smell so good?
* Prim, proper and penis pirate (it is a saying where I live meaning I take their manhood away)
So I was walking into one of the offices today to pick someone up to go to a lunch meeting, they were not there so I left a note telling them to come and get me. It really pisses me off when people do not keep to appointments. So I was sitting behind my desk and some bottom feeder walked in and started running his mouth off.
bottom feeder comments as he walks into my office: " click, click, click, I heard you walking down the hall didn't anyone invent silent heels yet?"
Veiled: you know you love hearing me walk down the hall as I see you looking at my shoes all the time.
bf: Yeah that's maybe true but it is the smell that follows you that gets all them men looking.
V: Is that so? why does it my smell turns you on?
bottom feeder blushes: Well you are the only female hierarchy here and well, powerful females are, well you know?
V: No I don't tell me!
bottom feeder: You just smell good ok? even your office smells good!
*bottom feeder looks towards my desk and raises an eyebrow*
bottom feeder: So your waiting for bob huh? oh wow I have never seen candy that colour before, can I?
Before I could even answer him he has picked up a "candy" and shoved it in his mouth.
V: nice?
bottom feeder: Eeerrr not really it is dry and crunchy, it taste old. Should it taste like this?
V: I would not know I have never tried eating potpourri before.
bottom feeder starts spitting it out into his hand and starts mumbling as he leaves.
Later in the day there was a memo sent around by email warning people that my office smells nice because of the potpourri on my desk and it may look like strange candy but it is not and a little P.S down the bottom said "cover the manhood when entering" (maybe it was because I was in a unable to tolerate "no bullshit" mood today)
So a warning when walking into my office, it smells good and I do not tolerate crap from anyone.
Thursday 7 May 2009
Dear Mr Shit for brains,
Today when I was driving home I was so happy and then you come into view!
Speeding and acting like a wild freak dodging in and out of traffic and breaking every road rule in existence , then you found it necessary to get so far up my arse you would have only got closer if you were on my roof rack.
So being the careful road user that I am lowered my speed to the correct and legal limit, it just happened to be a coincidence that I was next to a truck, your flashing of the headlights did not bother me, actually it made me realise that my window was dirty, front and back and I just had to spray water to clean them, goodness me I did not know it would make you more angry and try to push me faster by just about mounting your car on my back bumper.
Dear Mr Shit for brains, I hope that you got to your business meeting ok, I hope you did not feel threatened that I took the same exit as you and happened to park at the same car park as you and walk into the same hotel as you, lucky I sat 1 table away from you or you might think I was stalking you. You are just lucky my friend was already waiting for me.
I hope that respectful business man you were with was not to embarrassed that I come over and let you know how much of a fucking idiot you where while driving, though he seemed more angry at you, so it was a company car you were in huh? all them stickers on the side advertising the company and he was your boss? opss sorry, have a nice day shit for brains!
Speeding and acting like a wild freak dodging in and out of traffic and breaking every road rule in existence , then you found it necessary to get so far up my arse you would have only got closer if you were on my roof rack.
So being the careful road user that I am lowered my speed to the correct and legal limit, it just happened to be a coincidence that I was next to a truck, your flashing of the headlights did not bother me, actually it made me realise that my window was dirty, front and back and I just had to spray water to clean them, goodness me I did not know it would make you more angry and try to push me faster by just about mounting your car on my back bumper.
Dear Mr Shit for brains, I hope that you got to your business meeting ok, I hope you did not feel threatened that I took the same exit as you and happened to park at the same car park as you and walk into the same hotel as you, lucky I sat 1 table away from you or you might think I was stalking you. You are just lucky my friend was already waiting for me.
I hope that respectful business man you were with was not to embarrassed that I come over and let you know how much of a fucking idiot you where while driving, though he seemed more angry at you, so it was a company car you were in huh? all them stickers on the side advertising the company and he was your boss? opss sorry, have a nice day shit for brains!
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