Out of reach

Sometimes in life there are things you just know, without a doubt 100% rock solid "KNOW".
BD is something I know I want, The minute I seen him there was fireworks, It is the only way I can explain it and that is only because I see it on TV, the feeling I had was unexplainable and it still is.
Last night was a late night, 02:30 listening to music with BD, many tears shed and smiles broke, am emotional roller coaster that come to a screeching halt when one thing was misunderstood from some days ago and believe it or not it was about stiletto's.
I am a lady and I exude femininity I love being a female, I turn heads and give whiplash due to double takes, I am far from being on the cover of vogue, though I would not want that for me it is not my calling in life.
I am a caring person, a lover, I give all to the person I am with (with one exception) I would drop everything to be with BD, my whole world could stop, I would turn the world on its head, get every star from the sky just to be in his arms.
The energy exchanged when we talk or see each other is so powerful there has to be something in between us to block the intensity. We both want each other but there is something holding us back, maybe we are scared of it, maybe it is because it can be so perfect.
I have come to face the facts I can not have him. We are always making rules/excuses not to be with each other, He is not ready he is out of a relationship months ago and likes his alone time, A neutral rule we made I shall not share it with you, though it is a goal We/I will never be able to reach, not within the next year or more.
I believe BD deserves the best, to treat him well, to love, protect and honour him, to treat him the way he deserves, nothing but being number one in someones world, I know I can give him this.
We say we are perfect for each other though we always hold back and deep down know we will never be together.
What do I hear you say? Never say never? Time will tell but this is something so close yet so far out of reach.